So, there you have it. Horzine has authorized you access to its new out-of-field delivery service. Why wouldn’t you want this convenience, bringing you instant access to accessorization? Think of the impact on the morale of you and your friends, to appear si chic in front of the enemy. In addition, it will give you something to do in your down time, in between the jobs we send your way.
Speaking of which, gear up! Almost time for your next mission.
Bonjour, mes braves. Quoi de neuf? Are you there? Briar, Masterson - stop talking for once, if you can. Good! While you are not currently running a mission for us I have some news to share. Horzine has asked me to pass along the following announcement that might be of interest to you. Try not to bleed on it.
You no longer need to be in an active combat zone to go shopping. The company that brought you instant, on-demand 3D printing of fine armaments now brings you the shop-anywhere-and-anytime convenience of our new online store - The Trading Floor.
Horzine is proud to unveil its new online service for instantaneous accessorization. In a part of the world ransacked by creatures not naturally born of this earth, one might not be aware of the effect a good-looking piece of gear can have on morale. With these items in your possession, you’ll feel more than recoil - you’ll feel fashionable!
Paint your guns with a color other than Zed-Red! Change out of those dirty seven-month, twice turned garments - the apocalypse is no excuse for lack of cleanliness! With the new Trading Floor Zed-conomy, you’ll be the envy of your friends and dazzle the opposition with superior taste and firepower.
The Trading Floor allows immediate access and purchase of these items outside of the field of combat. No more waiting for that last Clot to come find you and have its miserable existence ended. No more anxiously waiting for the breather in between waves to say ‘I could really make a statement if I had bought that hot-pink beanie cap.’ Simply access the Trading Floor and peruse the available selections anytime, from the comfort of your quarters. These items are designed and made by people just like you. Buy their creations, learn their secrets, use them better and, most importantly, look good doing it!
Your guns will continue to fire with exactly the standard 100% gory satisfaction guaranteed, with no effect to your combat statistics OR performance. AND the proceeds will enable us to send you to new and ever-more exotic locations in which to exterminate the Zed menace.
No longer will you have that cold aching thought in the back of your mind - ‘what if...’ What if you had only shown Hans the spirit of the British Monarchy with a grenade launcher decaled as a shark? Perhaps that Fleshpound, his chest glowing oh-so-bright red, would balk at the sight of your cyber-red Katana? These are the questions you need answers to and you’ll find them at The Trading Floor!